Things that I have learned

2008 didn't start out to be the best year ever...but looking back on the first 90 days or so of the year I have learned a lot about myself, and more specifically, about the strength of my marriage. As many of you know, Kevin and I will be celebrating our 7th wedding anniversary this year (hard to believe, isn't it?) and I must say that during those 7 years we have endured a lot together as a couple. Everything from school to family issues...I am happy to say that we have emerged a much stronger couple.

So, here are some things that I have learned:

* It's okay to not always be right. I have learned that even though I am strongly opinionated, Kevin does have a valid point every now and again :)

* Our personalities are completely different. Those of you who know us know that I am, by far, the more pushy one of the two. Our personality differences were recently explained to us through a personalysis. It was so interesting to hear about my personality traits and Kevin's personality traits...because it is so dead on when you think back to certain situations and how we handled them. For example, one of my personality traits is that I can take something for so long and then another event will occur that will be a "deal breaker" and I will be completely done with the person/people involved and not willing to have any kind of relationship with them. It will also be very difficult for me to want to try and have any relationship again. Kevin, on the other hand, will always wonder where in the world this came from and why it "broke" at that particular moment without much warning. (this is so true, by the way, that it is scary!)

* It is okay to seek help. This has been, by far, the biggest revelation. For those of you who think that seeking help from a third party to help work through some issues is a sign of weakness in your relationships, I would challenge you to think again. Not only has this experience helped us learn to communicate better as a couple, but we have emerged much stronger and more committed to each other.

* Sometimes you have to cut people out to get back to the basics. When it comes down to it, all that matters is the relationship between Kevin, Matthew, this new baby and I. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, as long as we are on track with each other and doing the best thing for our family

* Those who claim to love you can try to tear you apart. I have shared with some of you the hurtful act of one individual that almost tore our marriage apart in January. Once we stepped back and realized how vindictive and manipulative this person is, we realized that we cannot allow this person to be a part of our lives in any capacity. I would challenge each of you to cut out the "toxic" people in your life...you will be thankful that you did.

* I have learned how to "pick my battles" which is something that my father has been trying to get me to do since we got married. I was amused today when I realized that it was me asking Kevin whether or not a particular battle was worth it...not the other way around.

And finally, always have a game plan. It doesn't have to be a real strategic plan, but make sure that you take time to sit down and talk about what would be best for each person involved. I have found that we often come to a happy compromise when we sit back and really listen to each other. And, I am happy to report that I have never been so content and secure with Kevin as I am right now!